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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the details, sharing them with an audience that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone enjoys being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. I thought recording a clip now and then would be enjoyable for her. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their bond?